Rammtrip
by analog-warrior
Summary: The members Rammstein go on a Hawaiin vacation. What kind of fun will they have? What kind of trouble will they get into? You'll have to read and find out. Rated T for mild language. Chapter 4 is up
1. Rammtrip

Rammstein is my favorite band in the world. I never see enough fics about them so I wrote a few. If you're a fan of Rammstein, i hope you enjoy this one.

* * *

"Look! There it is!"

"Move! I can't see!"

"It looks awsome! This is gonna' be so great!"

"-Let me see."

"Go back to your seat and use your own damn window!"

"Oh, yeah," Christoph said. He got off Paul's back and took his seat a row behind him. No one was sitting there. The six men were the only ones on the private jet, save the pilot. Christoph looked through his window to see the sparkling ocean and the island that was home to the resort they were headed to. "Wow," he whispered.

"Don't wet yourself, Doom- _Goddamn this thing_!" Richard cursed as he twisted and turned the Rubix cube. He'd screwed it up before the flight so he could pass the 4 hours solving it. Or, _trying _to solve it. Now he wished he'd left it fixed. All the talking wasn't a distraction, seeing as even if conditions were perfect he doubted he could solve it.

_"You can see the pool all the way from up here- It's huge!"_ Paul said.

Flake, his head leaned back and eyes closed, snickered at him. "Amerikan toys suck," he said. "Except Bionicles. Those things are cool. Lego is one of Amerika's only great accomplishments... And Coke."

Christoph:_ "Why are we passing it?"_

"The Rubix cube is from Hungary," Richard said, concentrating on the cube of death.

"What about the moon landing?" Ollie asked.

Paul: _"We have to circle around first. Where do their stakes come from, I wonder? I hear they're good."_

Still not opening his eyes, Flake said, "Well, Hungary isn't all that great, either. And the moon landing wasn't real. That was all staged in an airport hangar."

Christoph:_ "They get shipments all the time. Where else would they get Coke and Beer?"_

"No way," Ollie. "It looked too real."

Richard paused in his struggle to line the colors up and said, "My _guitar_ was from Hungary." He looked serious, especially without his hair spiked.

Flake opened his eyes and poked out is tongue at Richard, but pointing it at the ceiling. To Oliver he said, "How the hell would there be wind in space?"

Paul_: "Those people laying around the pool are freaking stupid."_

"It was solar wind."

"Oh- .'Space wind'. Yeah, right."

"How does that chinese guy do it?" Richard murmured.

Christoph_: "Why?"_

"The wind was heat waves from the sun." Oliver said.

"He's Japanese. And wind is cause by the interaction between low and high preassure."

Paul_: "They're gonna get Melanoma."_

"Yeah. Japanese. This is the stupidest thing I've ever bought- but I can't put it down." Left, right, right, left, right again. Drop. "Dammit."

"So there's no preasure in space?"

"Uhh... No! It's _space_!"

Christoph_: "Dude. It's pronounced _WATER_MELON. And how the hell could a watermelon be bad? Watermelons are great!"_

"Are we there yet?" Till yawned.

"How do you know? _You _ever been there?"

Paul: _"I said MELANOMA. And you're right. Watermelons kick ass. I hope they have them there."_

Left, left, left, left- "Dammit! I'm back where I started! Almost, Till. We still gotta' circle around."

"No, I have not."

Christoph: "_So what's Melanoma?"_

"Then how do you know what space is like?"

"How long have we been flying?" Yawn.

Paul: _"Some kind of skin desease you get from too much sun."_

"You get a lot of information from reading. They send probes and stuff."

"That's nice, Till." Left, right, left, left, back, right.

"But if the Moon landing wasn't real, how do you know that we've got any probes or anything in space _at all?"_

Christoph: "_You can get cancer just by standing out in the sun!?"_

"Be right back," Till said, dissapearing into the bathroom.

"...Wow. I don't know. You just brought up a good point!"

Paul: _"_Anything _can give you cancer these days."_

Right, foward, right, back, left, right, right.

Oliver nodded. "It's what I do."

Christoph_: "Don't tell me this!"_

"Yes...Yes...I almost got it..." Right, back, left, back, right, foward, right.

Flush.

Paul: _"Oh, yeah! Over-cooked meat. Deoderant-"_

"You know what else from Amerika is cool? Longhorns."

Enter. Sit. Recline. Yawn.

"Uh, huh-" Left, foward, left, right, back "-Yeah! I think I got it!"

Christoph: "_No! Shut up_!"

"Those weird cow things?"

"Yes! Yes! I'm getting it! YES!!!"

Till looks over his shoulder at the conversing band members. They all remind him of a bunch of kids on an exciting vacation.

Paul: "_Lipstick. TV."_

"Yeah. The ones with the _LONG HORNS_."

"Yes!" Richard stood up with the cube held as high as the low ceiling would allow. "I have completed it!"

Christoph: "_Shut up! I don't want to hear this!"_

"Those things scare me."

"I have made you my bitch! My colorful bitch!"

Paul: _"Radiation."_

"Why? And you haven't finished it yet."

"I have taken you down from your colorful pedastal and made you naked! Wait. What?"

Christoph: _"No!"_

"What if you got rammed but one of you? That would _totally _suck!"

"Of course I have! Look!" Richard thrust the cube in the keyboardist's face.

"Paul, Stop scaring your drummer," Till said in his serious voice.

Paul: "Why? I'm having so much fun. Try it."

Flake took the cube, turned it around, and put it back in the guitarist's hand. Sure enough it had only 2 squares misplaced. He said, "No you haven't. Just don't mess with them and they won't mess with you."

Christoph: "_Oh, God. Oh, God. All this time I've been living a lie_!"

"You're freaking him out. Look at him!"

"Oh, goddammit! Gimme that thing! I'll be right back!" Richard took the unfinished cube and left the seating area in the direction of the cockpit.

"You think they run around wild?"

Paul laughed and said, "Look. He's shaking."

"I don't know. But if you just stay out of their way then you have nothing to worry about."

"Living a lie. Living a lie..."

"It's not right. You're freaking the boy out."

"Oh come on. He's a grown man. He can take a little-"

Everyone paused for amoment to cover their ears. Each of their ears had popped at exactly the same time. Then, just as fast and unexplained as the preassure had come, it was gone. Then something hit Flake's window. "Whoa!" he exclaimed, grabbing his seat. "What the hell was that!?"

"Did you see that?" Oliver asked the Flake.

"What happened?" Till asked.

"Something just hit my window."

"What did it look like?"

"I dunno... It was too fast."

"It looked like a little ball of rainbow" Oliver put in.

"Rainbow?"

"I..." Flake thought. "You're right. It did look pretty colorful. Kinda familiar too."

_"It's the Dalai Lama! We're gonna' crash!"_

Richard came back in and sat down in his seat across the isle from Flake. "Took care of that little bugger." he said.

"A rainbow." the singer said. "'A little ball of rainbow'."

"That's what it looked like." Oliver said.

"Do you know how stupid that-"

"Richard! You didn't!" Flake said, putting his hand over his eyes.

"Didn't what?" the Paul asked.

Till began laughing and Richard smiled a secret smile. "Solve _that_, you little bastard."

_"Dalai Lama. Dalai Lama."

* * *

_

Somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, an unfinished Rubix cube bobbed just under the surface of the water.


	2. Arraival

To my readers (If there are any): I wrote this for three reasons:

1) Because I enjoys me some fics

2) Because I want to reader to enjoy as well

3) Because I don't believe there are enough Rammstein fics out there!

Aufwiedersehen! Upayuass!

* * *

"Ha ha! I just got laid!" 

"Will you quit saying that!?"

"Why? it's ture. That hot hawaiin chick just laid me."

"Paul, if you don't shut up I'm gonna' hang you from that thing."

"Come on Till, you know it's funny."

"It wasn't funny a misute ago and it isn't funny now."

"Here he comes," Richard said as the resort manager approached. He was a little surprised. They all thought the director of a Hawaiin resort would be... Hawaiin. This man was short and Japanese. The sun reflected brightly off his balding head. Richard tried not to look at it as the man got closer. This was his worse nightmare incarnate.

"Hello, Rammstein!" the little chinese man said. "Welcome to Hawaii. I am Kaseu Hasagawa. But you may call me Mr.H. Everyone else does."

"Mister H," Richard said, shaking his hand. At the end of the small runway, after they had all been laid, the six men waited for the hotel director to arrive.

"I am sorry for the wait. We are very busy this year."

"A lot of people here?" Richard asked, a little worried.

"Oh yes," the little man said. "This has to be one of our busiest years ever."

Richard began to sweat in the midday sun. He had been afraid of something like this. They had all hoped to come to the island and _not _come accross any rabid fans. Or anyone that knew who they were. There being a lot of people here increased the odds of them being found out. No one knew they were here. As far as the fans knew, they were all in different locations. If anyone found out that they were here together there would be hell.

"So," Hasagawa. "Anytime you want, you may feel free to enjoy all the island has to offer. Your bags are in your rooms and the island is yours."

"All right! Lets go." Paul and Oliver went in the direction of the hotel, Flake and Christoph in tow. Till and Richard stood with Mr. H until they were out of earshot.

Then Richard said, "Uumm...Mr. H? Could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," the man was happy to oblige. "Anything you need."

"Well, could you keep our being here...Uuh..."

"Yes?"

"Just don't..."

Till said for his partner, "Don't let anyone know we're here."

"Oh yes," the man said. He sounded very sure of himself. "We do that all the time. Do not worry."

"You do?" Richard asked.

"Yes, yes. In fact, your names aren't in the log book. Please, walk with me."

"Why?" Till asked.

"Even though we are very careful about... _your _type of visitor..." the man explained, "We still take many precautions to keep your stay enjoyable and undisturbed. Elvis Presly was once here and no one even knew. He was laying next to the pool and no one recognized him."

A man at the door greeted Mr. H and opened the door for them. The lobby of the hotel was breathtaking. The ceiling was a glass dome. Reaching up to it were a dozen palm trees. Richard couldn't see one, but he hear the sound of a fountain inside the cavernous lobby. Mr. H lead them past the front desk and into an elavator.

As the familiar feeling of ascention came to Richard's stomach, he said, "Tell me, Mr. H... How do you handle... trouble?"

Mr. Hasagawa looked at the guitar player in a condesending way and said, "Very well. We have a small jail in the basement. Guns are not allowed but stun guns and tazers are easily accessable to our security team. But they are very skilled in handto-hand combat... Why? Do you plan on causing trouble?" The way he said it seemed a little threatening, but polite at the same time. Richard knew he didn't want te get this man upset at him.

He looked at Till, you seemed to be holding back a smile. Richard knew that he was well indowed in the knowledge of electricity and fire. They all were. But Till was the real pro when it came to the pyrotechnics. He could sit closer to a raging fire than anyone else and was probably already immune to electricity. But a tazor...

Then he looked up to the ceiling of the elevator to see a camera staring back at him. He'd also seen many in the lobby and some in the trees. They were ready for anything. They would see whatever happened. He hoped he could get a hold of his fellow band members and keep them in check. The last thing he wanted was any trouble. "No," he said. "Not at all."

"Good," the man said as the elevator door opened. "Then let me show you to your rooms. As you know, you have an entire floor to yourselves. Please use this privalage wisely."

* * *

And now it's time for analog's interview with the cast! Today, the only character who had an impact was Richard- 

Till: Hey! What am I? _Dead_?

ana: Oh, come on Till. You were asleep half the time.

Till: (Looks like he's about to argue, then smiles) That's true. I guess you're right.

ana: Any way! Richard! What were you so worried about your other band members doing?

Richard: Well... Almost every time we take a vacation or break from touring, something..._bad _happens.

ana: Could you define _bad_?

R: (Thinks)

T: One of us does something stupid.

R: (Nod, nod)

a: Like what? Care to explain? (The two guys share a look) Or is it _that _bad-

T: Oh, there's nothing _bad. _Whenever we get in trouble and get chased around by the other vacationers-

R: -Or the guards-

T: Yeah. I hate it when theme parks have their own little army. But what I'm saying is, even though we get in trouble and chased all around and...set some things on fire, well... When we look back on it, we really did enjoy ourselves. And then there was that time at Seaworld.

R: (Snikers)

T: You wanna' know what the blow hole's _not _for?

a: ...You know... I think I'm gonna pass.

R: (Clears throught) Being chased and accidently causing mischief is fun for everyone- even if they say it isn't. (Smoke) I dunno... Maybe on a subconcious level we make trouble on purpose. And the other people have fun as well! When they get home, they'll tell about those six guys who almost wrecked the place and their friends will laugh. They'll laugh too, because they'll see how funny it really was and relize what a great time they had!.

T: Take this camera, for instance (Till takes my camera and faces it at me) Look at it. It's sitting there...Normal... Boring... Dull...

R: Peaceful...

a: Uuh... Careful. That thing was expensive...

T: But if you do _this_! (Till throws my camera into the air and catches it(

a: (Gasp)

T: Or _this (_Till throws it from hand-to-hand) It's much more exciting- See? Look how excited you are.

R: (Laughs)

a: P-please. Please give it back. If you break that thing, I'll be waist deep in-

T: _Or ..._what about if I do thi-

(Static)


	3. TIme to have fun!

"Oh, my God."

"Look at the size of that!"

"It all looks so delicious."

"This is the longest buffet I've ever seen!"

"This is even bigger than that one we ate at in Moscow. Remember?"

"Yeah. We got kicked out of that place, didn't we?"

"Indefinantly."

"Shall we?"

"Yes we shall."

Paul and Christoph took up their trays and got in line at the buffet. They knew that they were keeping their identities on the down low. But they didn't really mind waiting in line. For them it was worth they wait. The longer their meal was post-poned, the better it would taste. The line scooted and they scooted. It would be a very long wait.

When at last their trays were full of meats, pastries, and fish, they took their seats at a predesigntated. Their trays stacked high with food looked so beautiful they didn't want to disturb it.

"I can't," Paul said.

"Yeah... It all looks too great."

"Should we say Grace?"

The two men looked at eachother with faces full of indecidion. Then they both just let the laughter flow out of them like rivers.

"'_Grace'_," Christoph laughed.

"Good bread, good meat, _good God_, lets eat!"

* * *

"They said the waterfall would be around here," Oliver said.

"Why are you so interested in that place anyway?"

"Waterfalls are very spiritual places. And it's not really the waterfall I want to go to. It's the lake it's creates."

"And you're staying there?"

"Yeah. You can do whatever you want. I just want to swim."

Ollie and Flake had detatched themselves from the other 4 bandmembers to take a more peaceful and laid back look at the island. Everyone else wanted to party and have fun. But the bassist and Keyboarder had exploration on their minds. Flake wanted to do some hiking and birdwatching. And then he wanted do dive through one of the many reefs that surrounded the island. Ollie had heard of a very popular waterfall that wasn't too far from the island. The chances that it would be deserted were good seeing as one had to hike through the forest and rocks to get to it. Most people swam in the easily accessable pool that was right out their door.

"Oh!" Flake stopped. "Hold on."

Ollie looked back at him to see his friend looking into the sky. When he joined him he saw that he was really looking up at a tree. The keyboardist took a book from his pocket and marked off the bird. "D'jew see it?"

"See what?"

"That Macaw."

"I didn't see anything... In fact, I'm pretty sure you didn't see anything either."

Flake grinned and continued ahead, now with Oliver behind. "You're cheating on your bird-watching aren't you?" he asked.

The man ahead of him still wore his big grin as they ventured deeper into the forest.

* * *

"So what are you gonna' do?" Richard asked.

Till walked back inside the suite from the balchony. This wasn't his room, but Richard's. Since they had an entire floor to themselves, they got to use their own beds. Unlike some unpleasant experiences in the past.

"I plan to sleep," he said, falling to his bed face first.

"That's it?" Richard asked. "We have a whole island to mess around on and a whole resort under our fingertips... And you're going to _sleep_?"

Till's face was oppisite Richard, who was standing at the foot of the bed. His eyes were closed as he said, "Just a nap."

"You really shouldn't have stayed up so late watching the Bleach marathon last night."

"..."

"Didn't you get enough sleep on the plane?"

"..."

Richard put his right foot on the mattress and began pushing it up and down. "Till?" he said.

_Snore._

"Okay, then."

* * *

"Hi," said the waitress, "and welcome to the Louou Resturant."

"Memm-mwow," Christoph said, his mouth too full to speak.

"Yo," Paul said, sipping his Coke.

"I see you boys are taking naturally to the buffet. Is there anything else I can get you?"

Christoph swallowed and said, "There sure," Gasp "is. Do you have any of that Poi stuff?"

"Yeah," Paul said. "I've always wanted to try that."

"And those fruits that are shaped like stars."

"Star fruit?" she asked.

"That's what they're called?" Paul asked

"And do you have any of those little cake thingies?" Christoph said. He made a circle with his thumb and forefinger to show her.

"Oh! Yeah. I like those." Paul smiled as he, too, made little circles with his fingers. "About three dozen of those."

"Aaaaannnnd..." Christoph looked up and down his menu and said. "And one of those fishes with the really long noses."

"A whole one," Paul put in.

"Wow," the Hawaiin waitress wrote down 'WHOLE' swordfish. "You boys sure have a talent for eating. I wonder what other talents you have..." she said with a flirting air.

"Well, actually..." Christoph said. "We're in a ban-"

"-Bad fit of hunger." Paul finished for Christoph before he could blurt out that fact that they were celebrities. "Could we get that fish now?"

The woman looked back and forth between the guitarist and drummer. "On it's way," she said. They both watched her go as she dissapeared into the crowd.

When she was out of sight, Christoph said, "Wow! The food isn't the only delicious thing around here."

"Do you not relize what you have almost done?" Paul asked. Subconciously, he held his knife and fork threateningly.

The man across the table from him paused with a crab leg in his mouth and looked to the ceiling in consentration. Then he spat out his food and gasped. "Holy crap..."

"Yeah," Paul crossed his arms. "You damn near-"

"-We forgot to ask for refills!"

* * *

"Excuse me," Richard asked one of the waitresses. "But have you seen a man about six feet tall, with a slightly balding head? Always looks a little mad?"

"Hmm..." She put a finger to her chin and looked at the hair just above her eyebrows. "Well, there are a lot of people here that look like that..."

"Okay. What about a slightly taller guy? Long buz cut? Prominant nose?"

The waitress turned around and looked at the room full of eaters. Richard leaned to the side and looked around her. There were a lot of people. And he could already see a few guys roughly matching Paul's and Christoph's description. The waitress looked back at him and said with a smile, "Do you see them?"

Richard sighed. "No..."

"I'm sorry I can't help you. I wish I could stay and get you to your friends but I have a lot of orders to fill... Sorry."

She was about to walk away when Richard stopped her by saying, "Would it help to ask who the biggest eaters in this room are?"

The Hawaiin waitress spun around, causing her grass skirt to flare out around her. She said, "Oh yeah! Now that you mention it, _those _two guys look a lot like your friends. They've been eating everything we throw at them!"

"Yep. That sounds like them." Leave it to Christoph and Paul to get you kicked out of an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet for eating too much. "Could you show me where they're sitting?"

* * *

"We're almost there," Flake said. "I can hear water."

"Screw walking!" Oliver shouted. He jumped ahead of the slow-poke in front of him. He was quickly lost from the man's site. Flake felt like leaving his friend here and not changing his path at the waterfall his friend so wanted to swim in. But if he wanted to make it to the slope of the mountain, he had to pass it. He sighed. It was hard being Flake.

It took him a lot longer to get there. He thought the waterfall was loud before, but even after five minutes of brisk walking, the sound was loud enough to make him think that, were he blindfolded, one more step would put him in water. the ground was damp and the air smelled of rain. But it still took him another two minutes until the waterfall was at last at his feet.

It was a very pretty sight. He stood at the south-east corner of the lake, north being where the 50 foot waterfall came crashing down. The large pond didn't cover the large and jaged gray rocks that surrounded it, as a river oppisite the falls led the water away, probably to the ocean. The whole thing was visible from where he stood But Oliver Riedel was no where to be seen.

Flaked sighed. With his staff, we navigated his way through and over the rocky shore of the pond. Many times he almost slipped on the dew-covered surfices of the ancient stones. A few times he actually did. He regained his footing quickly and looked around. He didn't see anybody. No one saw him. He continued he journey to the waterfall.

When at last he made it to the falling river, he found a backpack, shirt, shoes, pants, and one sock. Then, over the exploding water, he found a voice.

"Hey!" it yelled. Flake looked behind him, expecting to find his lost band member. But no one was there.

"Hey!" it called again. Flake lifted his sunglasses and surveyed the entire pond and surrounding forest, but still saw no one. Then he heard a splash.

He looked to see the water splash just 10 meters from where he stood. It was too close to the waterfall for him to see what was under the surfice. Anywhere else in the pond, you could see all the way to the buttom. But this close to the downward river, bubbles and turbulance obscured anything there.

"Gha!" Flake cried out in surprise as he saw Oliver's head break the surfice only two meters away.

"Didn't you hear me?" he said.

Flake looked up at the top of the waterfall. It fell from a ledge. The wall he was standing next to went straight up and was covered in the same type of rock on with he stood. It looked quite treacherous but a man with muscle and determination could scale it in a matter of minutes.

He looked back at his partner, who was now climbing out of the water, and stammered, "You... You climbed all the way...?"

Oliver pulled himself onto the rocks and spat out a mouthfull of water. Though all of his clothes and objects were at his feet, he still had on his boxers. "And jumped," he said. "Didn't you see?"

"No." Flake said. "I was too busy looking for whoever was calling to me... That was _you_ wasn't it?"

"I guess you didn't hear me," Ollie said as he backed into the water. "You coming?"

"Hell, no. I'm going up to the slope of the mountain."

He turned away and, once again, utilized his staff to safely get over the boulders. Behind his back, over the sound of the crashing water, heard, "Seeya!"

Without turning around, Flake raised his hand in response. He couldn't take his concentration off of the rocks below his feet in fear of dying.

* * *

Ana: So why did you want to get to that waterfall so bad?

Oliver: It's just so peaceful there. You can float around, and-

Flake: You could have just as easily done that at the resort! They even have _their own _man-made waterfall built in!

O: It's no where near the same! It's the surreality of the surroundings that makes the real thing so much better.

F: There are so many better things to do at a Hawaiin resort than_ float on water_!

O: Did you actually do it?

F: What difference does it ma-

O: Looks at both of us Did either of you actually stand still for a change and swim next to that waterfall?

a: Shake

F: Hell no.

O: Well, then you shouldn't judge something without expieriencing it.

F: Yells something in german at the other man, who starts yelling german back at him.

a: Guys... _Guys! _Our fans only speak english...

O: Let me _ilistrate _my point. Looks around That's a very nice camera you've got there. Looks new. Would you mind if I just-

a: No! No way am I going to-_ HELL _NO!


	4. Trouble?

Till rolled over onto his back and groaned. He had a bad habit of falling to sleep in an awkward position, then waking to find his back stiff and soar. He slowly sat up until he was at his full sitting height. Then kept going, stretching out his arms until his fingers met his toes. Then he stood up.

He looked at the clock. 1:44. He'd only been asleep about an hour and a half. He got up and made use of the hotel's bathroom. Then went into the living room. There, the window was open. There was a fantastic view of the island, and straight down you could see the pool. Till didn't go to the window.

There was also a 60 inch plasma screen hanging from the wall in front of the two sofas. He heard that they got allmost all American channels, and som others. There was an entire rack of DVDs and video games to go with the player and PS2. Till didn't turn on the TV.

Instead, he walked out. Till wasn't much of an osberver or TV watcher. He didn't like to see the world going by. He wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to manipulate it and work with it. And possibly burn and mame it. More hands on than watching TV. Maybe he could find Oliver or Richard again.

He opened his door, didn't worry about locking it, and went to the elevator. There, he pressed the down button and waited for the elevator to arrive. He looked over his shoulder. Of course there was no one there. He was just wondering if any of his band mates were still on the floor. Flake and Oliver had gone hiking. Ollie had said something about a waterfall. Richard had gone to talk with Paul and Christoph, where he was now headed. The door opened and he looked inside. There was no one inside. Till stepped in and pushed the **L **button.

The ride to the ground floor didn't last as long as he thought. When the door opened again, he stepped out. He was on another floor similar to the one he had just come from, except the room numbers were different. When he heard the door close, he turned around. There was a shiny number **7 **above the dual doors. Till grunted to himself. He must have mixed the **L **and **7 **button up. "Must still me asleep," he yawned, scratching his neck. Till pressed the down button again and waited for the elevator to return.

Not long after that, Till sensed another person next to him. He looked to his left and saw no one. But when he looked down he saw a girl, looking expectantly at the elevator doors as if she had no idea the large man was next to her. She was very short and had pigtails. She looked to be about 7 or 8. She had on a yellow dress with a long skirt and wore a backpack.

When he joined her in wating for the door, he thought he saw her watching him from the corner of his eye. But when he look again at her, she was still looking at the doors. And when he looked foward he knew she was staring at him again. Till tried to use the elevator doors themselves as mirrors to see her. They were reflective enough to vaguely detect her small form, but too bronze to see where she was looking. He didn't worry. Though he didn't like people staring at him, Till often didn't realy mind when children did it. He often got that response. But it was when the doors opened with a happy, "Ding!", that his brow began to sweat.

"Thill Lindemann..." said the girl.

His name froze him in mid step as he was about to enter the waiting elevator. _It was bound to happen_, he thought._ It always does_. Till sighed and turned slowly around on his heel. The girl was smiling up at him. "You're Thill Lindemann," she said again.

"Yeah, so? What do you want- huh?"

The girl smiled up at the big man with her two front teeth missing. That explained her lisp. Then she reached around into her backpack. _Camera_, Till thought.

"What do you want? Pictures? A million dollors? _A pony? _Or how 'bout a yacht- Those or popular."

"No," the little girl said, still rummaging around in her back pack.

"Oh! A high roller. Let me guess- You want a date with Richard? All the girls want him. Or you want to get on stage with me? To sing you freaking happy birthday!?"

The girl held something out to Till and said, "A athograph."

"I remember that clown who thought he could get me to sing for him. That- What?"

Till saw that the pig-taile girl held out a sharpy marker and the Sehnsucht album. "Justh a authograph, pleasth," she said.

Till looked down at the girl in astonishment. She could cripple him financialy if she wanted to. And here, she was only asking for an autograph. In a sort of haze, he reached out and took the 2 items. _Till Lindemann, _he wrote on Christoph's face. Then he handed them back.

"Thank you," she said. "I really like you're musthic."

"O- oh?" Till said.

"Yuh! I like Engel and Du hasth. _Goth weisth Ish will kind_... Uh. Sometimes I can't remember all the words."

"Oh. Well, sometimes I can't either."

"Are you on vacation?" she asked innocently.

"Well..." Till looked around the deserted hallway. "I _was_... Me and the others were jsut trying to take a break... without too many people knowing."

"Oh." The girl looked a little forlorn. Then she said, "Then I'll leave you alone. You can thake the elevator anth I'll usthe the sthairs."

Till just watched as she walked, step by tiny step, towards the stairwell. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

The way she held the Sehnsucht album to her chest made her seem so much smaller than she really was. And as she walked, her pig-tails bounced in step. And Till liked the way her lisp sounded. She was so small. So innocent. She was just...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

...The cutest freaking thing Till had ever seen! He felt like such a dick for treating her the way he had- and then making her use the stairs? Wha?

"Hey wait!" he called.

* * *

Oliver floted just on the surface of the foamy water and goraned to himself. After the keyboardist had left, Oliver had fully dirobed like he used to as a child. He had waited until he was gone because he knew his bandmate would have something to say. Flake had no idea what it was like to float like you were nothing.He acted like he was _so _smart. Well... he was the smartest of the 6 of them- but he didn't have to flaunt it like he... _Okay. So he doesn't _flaunt _it. But does he have to always correct someone when they get something wrong? Couldn't he just keep it to hime-_

"Tee, hee!"

Oliver jolted in the water when he heard the giggle. Instinctivly, he had risen to a sitting position, both to look around and to hide _his _olliver. But in doing so, he was pushed under the water by his own weight. For a second all was blurred and hushed. What in his ears and eyes. Then when he floated back to the surfice, whiping his eyes, he allowed only enough of his head up to see what he had most feared.

_People_.

Two girls were standing on the rocky edge of the pond poking through his belongings. They were dressed to hike, wearing denim shorts and blouses. Their long hair was was back in a pony tails and on their backs were their bags, almost as full as Flake's.

Oliver didn't worry about losing anything important. All that was up there was his pants, underwear, shirt, shoes and a single sock. The other one was probably bobbing at the bottom of the pond. He watched as they looked around for the owner of the clothes. One scanned the pond surfice and surroundings, not seeing his head. They may have though it was just another rock. _I should grow some hair_, Oliver thought.

The two girls picked up his clothes and belongings and began to walk away. Oliver tried to shout to them but only ended up swallowing a mouthfull of water. After coughing it up, he brought his head out of the foamy surfice of the pond and croaked, "Hey!"

The two girls heard him just as they were entering the forest the way they had come. They looked around again but still didn't see him on the surfice. _Yeah, _he thought. _I really outta' grow some hair. _He stuck a hand up as high as he could and waved. They laughed and waved back.

"Put those back!" he shouted a little too harshly.

On of them held up his boxer shorts with the tip of her fingers and giggled. "These?" she called.

"All of it!" he yelled back. "Those things belong to me!" Oliver then began to swim back to the rocks, at the same time trying not to let his lower quarters be seen by the two strange women.

The girls giggled to eachother and the one with the boxers said, "Come and get them."

"I, uh... I can't..."

The laughed again and said, "Seeya!" Then dissappeared once again into the forest.

"Oh, crap- Wait!" the man cried. "Come back! I need those! Please- bring them back!" His please were ignored. And even after ten minutes of calling out to the strangers who had just stolen his clothes, he finally gave up realising he had been defeated. He looked down into the water and thought he could see his single sock on the buttom of the pond. Oliver sighed and felt the cold wtaer begin to chill his bones. He felt nakeder already.

* * *

"Oh. My. God." Christoph breathed. 

The sword fish took up to full length of the table, plus a few inches off each end. What must have been bueatiful in life was now georgous in death. The enormous fish was the single best looking item of food the guitarist and drummer had ever seen. And even though they had just engourged themselves with cakes, steaks, and fruits, they felt their proffesional stomachs ready to fill again with the gigantic fish.

"Wait!" Christoph said to Paul. "Here she comes again. Lets get some refills first- I don't wanna' end up choking again like I did that one time at Disney World."

"Oh!" Paul laughed. "I remember that! Ha ha ha!"

"That's not funny," the drummer said.

"Yes it is. You almost died- You turned blue!"

"Don't remind m- is that Richard?"

Paul turned around to see that Richard was indeed in tow with their waitress. "You boys need anything?" she asked sweetly.

"More drinks!" they said simoultaneously. She smiled again and left to get their refills.

Richard waited until she was gone again to speak. "Okay, guys," he said. "Listen up. This place isn't like the others we've been to- they have different ways of dealing than trouble makers than just slapping your wrists."

Paul began to say something but Richard cut him off. "Even if you're stinking rich."

"Oh," Christoph said, chewing some ice, "I think we can handle it."

"It's not _our _fault," Paul whined. "Trouble just sort of... follows us around. It's like we're cursed."

"Yeah. And If the curse were a person," Christoph explained, "It'd be a little girl. She'd have red cheeks, red pig tails, no front teeth..." Chritsoph stared into the middle distance for a moment before adding, "and a lisp."

Paul held his hand out in Christoph's direction and nodded in agreement. "Mmm, hmm."

Richard looked from one man to the other in confusion. "Where the hell'd-"

"Yeah," Paul cut him off. He looked at the drummer in confusion and said. "Where'd that come from?"

Christoph cleaned his fork off with a cloth napkin for a moment. When he was sure it was clean and shiny he pointed with it accross the room. "There," he said.

The two others followed the mans fork to see something that _was _rather strange. Neither of them would have ever seen this coming. If they would have placed money against it ever happeneing, they would all be poor, poor, poor.

"What... the... _hell_...?" They said in unison.

"That has trouble written all over it."

* * *

Till walked into the large resturaunt with the little girl on his shoulders and imediatly captured the attention of half of the diners. He had a hold of the girl's ankles and she has grasping fists of his hair but he didn't mind in the least. They were both grinning like idiots and singing the song _Engel_. And as one would expect, the two attracted quite a lot of attention. 

Till marched through the resturaunt only stopping to correct the girl while he singed with her. "Even though it's spelled _'Gott'_, it's pronounced '_Got-eh'_. Understand?"

"Yep!" she chirped. "_Goth-eh!" _Till chose not to point out the girl's lisp. It was just too cute!

Till stopped in the middle of the now still resturant. He turned in a sircle and said, "Now, which ones are your parents?" Then stopped and looked up at the girl.

She was scanning the room from her perch on the large mans shoulders. She slowly turned her head back and forth until pointing foward and saying, "There!" Then she cheered, "Hi momy!"

_"Allisa!?" _The response was a high pitched scream of terror.

Till's grin vanished.

_Oh crap...

* * *

_

ana: (Clears throught and ruffles some papers careful not to look at Till)

Richard: (Looks at Till funny)

Paul: (Looks at Till funny)

Christoph: (Has his fingers laced in an arch in front of his mouth. And guess what. He's also looking at Tilly suspiciously)

Till: (Crosses his arms) Shut up!

a: (Whispers into the mic in my collar) Sorry about the delay folks. I just got a little lazy there for...Looks at watch a few weeks there. The problem was that I though this chapter should go farther. But I've decided to end it here.

T: (Suddenly standing above me) Cameras and mics... Hand them over. (He reaches for me)

a: ...Aaaaaaaaaaahh-! (Static)


End file.
